he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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