At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
