the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
