i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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