I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just invented taco cereal.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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