I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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