I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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