i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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