ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
