I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
