I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize