her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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