Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
