It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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