This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
