so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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