There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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