The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
