Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
