You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
