u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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