No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
