if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Buhtt sex?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
