i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize