I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
