I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
