Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm really busy with my period
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