there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
