She's JV to your varsity
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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