Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
