hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
