How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
