I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
