Princesses don't give blow jobs
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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