dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize