Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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