You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She even gives head with a lisp.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
