Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
