Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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