Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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