Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize