How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The Olympian is in my bed
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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