It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
did i just pee glitter
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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