The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
