there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
