How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
