She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
