elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
