lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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