Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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