i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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