To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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