Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My life is pants optional.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
