If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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