I heard we made out
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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