Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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