she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
