So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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