I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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