everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
